I am reblogging this piece from Lynne Forrest
thank you Lynne
Today, I would like to elaborate further on intimacy, as I felt
we did not fully cover what real intimacy looks like. So, is it really
possible to open ourselves to experience intimacy with
another without getting caught up on the Victim Triangle?
Yes, I believe intimacy is possible. The road to having more
intimacy in our lives is a simple step-by-step process, even though
it is not a necessarily easy one! The good news is that it is not
necessary to become more perfect, more deserving, or less
unacceptable for intimacy to be possible.
To pursue intimacy, we must first become aware of, and
then step back from, our limiting, unhappy beliefs and stories about
We must question these blindly believed assumptions about
ourselves as being less than and undeserving of love. We must learn
to plant a seed of doubt between the false ideas we hold about
ourselves, and the essential truth of who we really are.
Who are we really? We are extensions of Source Energy; we are
Reality expressing itself through the experience of a life that is
designed to exactly reflect, for our viewing pleasure, our own
beliefs about ourselves and the world. To see our own beliefs
reflected to us through the world around us allows us to clarify
where we are standing out of alignment with ourselves and Source,
so we might clear our painful, life-long notions of a limited self,
and come into greater self-acceptance.
Through that realignment we become more forgiving, more
loving towards ourselves, and more
willing to share ourselves with another. We are now ready to be
seen by another, not because we are perfect, but because we have
come to know and accept our imperfections.
Perhaps a good comparison of our journey to intimacy is
possible through the exploring of the four definitions found in the
Greek language for the word “with.”
The first Greek definition for the word, “with” is illustrated as
two lines drawn standing side by side (ll) that illustrates the
word, “with” as in to walk beside another along the path.
This is the “with” that might describe partners who walk along
together, but without too much familiarity.
The second meaning of the word, “with” in the Greek language is
illustrated again by two lines drawn side by side, only this time
they face each other. This form of “with” describes the kind of
“with-ness” that comes from taking the time to get to know each
other a bit better, we turn to face each other, seeking
communication, as in saying, “I understand you, I get where you are
coming from, I’m with you.”
The third meaning attributed to the word “with” might be
illustrated as two lines twined around each other. It describes the
sort of “with-ness” that we find when one partner takes
responsibility for the other: a co-dependent neediness perhaps, as
in one person carrying the other … This might be described in
words like, “I will take care of you; I am responsible for you. I
will do for you.”
And the fourth definition ascribed to the Greek word, “with” is
that most evolved state of intimacy illustrated by a single line.
This is the one that describes the true intimacy that is really
only possible in our relationship between ourselves and Source. It
is the definition that describes intimacy as being one with; a merger
where two become one.
The two as one form of “with-ness” cannot happen
between humans (the closest we come to it is in the experience of
orgasm). It is only really possible with Source. But there is this
marvelous thing that happens when we experience the oneness form of
“with-ness, spoken of by Jesus as, “the Father and I are One,” and
that is that when we come into that deep merger with Source for
which we have been hoping to find in the world, suddenly real
intimacy with others becomes possible too!
As a result of our deeply personal and
intimate union with Source, we naturally begin to see others as
extensions of that union. We no longer feel the need to distance
and protect ourselves from a dangerous world, leaving us wide open
to others, so that we can begin to allow ourselves to receive and
share love in whatever form it comes.
As we drop our unhappy stories about a less than perfect self, and
come into the awareness of who we truly are as essential
expressions of Source, we merge into oneness with Source, and then
intimacy with others becomes a natural expression of our life walk.
This, in my opinion, is the meaning of, and the journey to, true